Shady compliments.

There are some gorgeous people out there whose well of compliments never runs dry and whenever you meet them they are too excited to shower you with compliments that can be some times subjectively referred to as shady compliments.

You wonder whether they are just honestly pointing out a fun fact or they are just being hideous. Can you detect nasty from a far? And if you haven’t the art to decipher sarcasm then I don’t know if I should be happy for you or not.

You do notice that from the various pieces of clothes you wear, your figure will appear to look different.

An example I learned many years back in my Home Science class: Clothes with vertical stripes might give an illusion of slender/thinner/slimmer and or tend to elongate your figure to seem taller, while horizontal striped clothes might give the illusion of bigger/wider/curvy/fatter and or narrow.

Well, this phenomenon might have changed over the years and even fashion gurus amaze us with all the mix and match you can possibly do or get away with and still seem to have it together. In essence it really doesn’t matter. Fashion, style, all the glitz and glitter is not a matter of life and death.

You can play with clothes, be it color, patterns or stripes to flatter your body how you want it to be to boost your esteem and even build character and it doesn’t even have to be that you are too body conscious and you won’t miss out one or two persons who are always eager to comment on your body.

Annoying compliments like,”oh wow, you have added so much weight, what do you eat?” or,” you are growing fat. You need to exercise this and this part of your body,” or “oh my God, you are too thin, why have you lost so much weight? Are you sick? You need to grow some hips. Your boobs are gone.” Etc…Unsolicited advice after advice. And you notice this is a constant topic they touch on anytime you happen to meet. Smh!

Sometimes you might even have cut down some kilos or have tried everything to add some kilos or been battling a condition you don’t want to talk about but the illusion created from whatever you are wearing says otherwise.

Know clothes play tricks. And seriously compliments that have to do with another persons body image are given wisely and genuinely and not just blurted out. You do not know what people are going through. And you might be a catalyst to someone’s deteriorating mental health.

And do you know it’s not a must to compliment? And if you must and feel too generous then be kind and careful of how you compliment another person. You can alter a great point by just how you put it across.

Ever heard, “It’s not what you say, but how you say it.”?

Love & Light

If you have anything to add about this topic please do so on the comment section. Would be great to read from you. Maybe an experience you have had related to the above.


  • Essy Muna

    ‘Hii nguo inaeza kaa poa na mimi.Si unipee.’This line adds to shady compliments…

    Also,during my weight loss journey,every now and often someone tells me “unakaa poa hivi,usikonde tena sana.”

      • MARY W. K.

        This reminds me of a woman who told me that “aki tangu upate mtoto umenona sana hadi unakaa mzee. Chunga usikuwe momo. Imagine that!
        Then I started losing weight and the same person was like” umekonda na rate kubwa, kwani mzee anakunyima chakula? Lakini unakaa poa”. And I was like, “you need to get a life woman”!

        • Ciru

          Like seriously, I still don’t see the point of why others who don’t even know you so well feel the need to comment on ones body/weight/height etc. I hope it didn’t affect you and should never get to you.

    • Nimo

      I have been MIA but am back now, going through your posts and this got me thinking,am also constantly gaining and loosing weight and the comments aren’t that pleasant, whenever I loose weight I have a cousin who is always on my case and telling me how I look wierd as I am tall and my arms look flabby,when I gain weight I look like a giant,ohh please

      • Ciru

        Oh you, don’t let those comments get to you. And you can outright tell that cousin not to make such comments. Akikataa cut her out of your space.

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