-
She. Fear. Trauma.2
She remembers walking weird partly limping back to school. The faul smell followed her. She trembled. Somehow she got to class. Everyone asked her where she was the whole time. She can’t remember how she excused the rapist. But she never told. She was hurting and she couldn’t tell anyone. She walked home with her brother and her friends. Her pant still wet from something she had never seen before. She has constantly wondered over the years why no one came to rescue her. She takes it that at that age if she still remembers correctly, her mother still bathed her. She can’t remember that days bath. Or the days…
-
She. Ordeal.1
She never thought she would have to live with her gruesome childhood shadowing her every move. And she never wished for that. She never knew she would painfully have to live with the trauma. She has lived with fear inside of her. Fear of the known and the unknown? This is how it began. She was a tiny little human being. One of the good ones. At least she believed that. She received love from far wide and center. Her parents adored her past the fact that she was their first and only daughter. She believed everyone around her loved her and always meant well. She was shy, always has…
-
Dear one…
(2012 in German Institute of Professional Studies. Unaware of what was awaiting me) Nothing in life comes easy. If you think there is then summon yourself to a meeting and ask yourself a few questions. That easy something you achieve might probably not last long. You’ve heard of easy come easy go. I believe if you want something, you till and toil till you lay your hands on it. There is an unutterable indescribable satisfaction in harvesting and enjoying the fruits of your labor. A feeling you get, and the peace that comes with it that no one can take from you. I see people complaining about the situation they…
-
Crush…😉
You love him but you can’t have him, It would be going against all odds, unacceptable . One of the “it was never meant to be.” But there is a thin line of “it could be.” Your heart skips a beat at the thought of people knowing you like him a little too much. Could be embarrassing. They will think you are lame. You can’t ignore the fact that he drives you insanely crazy. This kills you silently. But you have made peace with knowing it can never be more than what you would want it to become. You fantasize. Maybe hit it and get over it. He will reject…
-
Mummy, 17 years on
mummy I love this pic of you. There is this ache in my heart that will never go away. A hole that will never be filled. 18.04.2001 The mark was left. In your twenties you carried me in your womb for nine months. In your womb I fed through you. You religiously went for those clinics to make sure I remained healthy. You did this process 5 times. I salute you. You never had it easy in your life. That is for sure. I saw you cry and I heard you crying alone in your bedroom. I saw you on your knees praying for all of us mum and your…
-
Snippet of my love life.
We all have a story to tell about an ex. I wonder who doesn’t. If you count yourself as my ex I might be talking about you. If you don’t resonate to anything here and you thought you were my ex mmh we were never a thing, we had a fling. I was once upon a time a very shy girl when it came to boys. I remember vividly how my walking style changed if I walked past boys or how I innerly begged the grounds to open and swallow me if I felt a boy was watching me. If I was sent to the shops to buy something and…
-
How I met Josef and what he lost.
Each of us can count or recall at least one or two if not many encounters we had with someone who left us totally blown away, touched or fulfilled. It didn’t matter that you didn’t know the persons before and you probably have never met them again. We truly are taught by every person we meet. I’m convinced that there is that person you will meet and they will leave a mark on you. It could manifest itself on you in the simplest way or in a million little powerful ways. I’m totally exhausted after a 11 hour shift at work and in less than 2 hours I have to…
-
You will heal, you will conquer!
There was a time a few months back I just felt extremely unhappy with myself. I just could not pin point where these bizarre feelings came from. I felt like I didn’t connect really well with myself. Or with a certain part of my body. Well, some look at me and see a happy jovial cheerful completed and living it kind of person. I might be all that at times but there are little loopholes too. I’m not always okay. I have embraced that fact. It is okay sometimes not to be okay. If you are an immigrant or foreigner in a certain country and you get a hairdresser who…
-
SOBER TO MAKE BABIES?
Long gone should be the days we get children to fulfill other people’s expectations. Long gone should be the days we get children as old age security. Long gone should be the days we get children to trap each other into hopeless relationships. Long gone should be the days we get children to acquire and live on child care. Long gone should be the days we get children because we are a certain age and feel obliged to make a family and also can’t stand societal judgmental gestures, phrases and comments. So on and so forth. Y’all must be familiar with some of these pressures. Parenthood is not meant for…
-
As A Child…
Every now and then I reflect on how my life was as I was growing up. I think knowing what I know now and going through some phases in life, there are things If I could I would go back and undo. Also, there are moments I would go back to relive. It is often said that it is never too late to rewrite history. I think my history will always remain as it was and what I can do is live this minute better than the last. Write it differently for the generation after me. The other day I had an intensive conversation with a friend who grew up…
true storytelling from personal experiences and inspiring stories from my perspective