Losing my mother. The Journey

I lost my mum at 9 years old. Here you will get to read how that has been for me.

  • Family,  Life Lessons,  Losing my mother. The Journey

    We lived and to more years

    Sometimes I am a bit naive not to believe that there is evil in this world. That some people can be so hard-hearted and jealous in a situation they wouldn’t even gain from. Honestly, I don’t understand how someone can be so evil and negative minded to actually sit and plot someone else’s downfall. How they can wish for the worst to happen to another human being. How they utter hurtful and painful remarks on someone’s life. At what cost? At whose gain? I have been celebrating the birthdays of my two amazing younger brothers. Born back to back but different years. My mind took me back to when they…

  • Losing my mother. The Journey

    Mummy in heaven

    Today is that day,  Just like a worker without pay,  The emptiness in my soul,  Feels like the universe plays foul,  And every cell in my body screams sadness,  For I miss my mother’s kindness.   Sometimes things happen at random,  And it becomes so hard to fathom,  For a moment we lose our identity, To the depth of loss and growth of curiosity,  Until in our hearts there is no space for light,  To guide us we try to find ourselves and fight.    I remember your youthful and beautiful face,  So full of life, love, and grace, Your commitment to everything you loved,  Your radiant smile as your…

  • Losing my mother. The Journey

    19 years gone but still felt.

    Yesterday, 18.4.2020 marked 19 years since my mother passed away. On this date every year for the past few years  I have written something down in her memory. Yesterday was a bit different. I could feel that something was bugging me but I couldn’t place what it was. My feelings weren’t alright and it is only later in the afternoon that a person dear to me called me and mentioned they were checking on me because it was that day. Wrapping my mind to what day it was it just occurred to me that it was my mothers memorial. I felt guilty for not remembering something so close to my…

  • Family,  Losing my mother. The Journey

    Daddy came through. 🙌🏿

    If you have followed my journey thus far then you will know what you are about to read means a lot to me and you will rejoice with me. I voluntarily spill my stories out there and no one judges me at least to my knowledge. My heart tells me to also share my breakthroughs or developments on stories I have already shared. So here we go. Remember the Read here ? Well, this happened. When I travel back home I always make it a point to visit my granny. Mommy’s mum. And you know how most grannies are so honest and will tell you anything because they don’t give…

  • Family,  Losing my mother. The Journey,  Struggles. Hope

    How I was introduced to my stepmom and more.

    (Back in the day ☺️) Mommy, as we always called her had suggested where my dad would find a helper. She wanted her husband to be happy even in her absence. She wanted us her kids to be surrounded by love and for some reason she was convinced we would be loved. Unfortunately I can’t place the exact unfolding of events perfectly or chronologically after my mums demise. But I remember from the place my mommy had suggested we get a helper we did get one. Her name was Grace. Yes what are the odds. My first name is Grace. Grace was a beautiful short dark skinned girl maybe in…

  • Family,  Losing my mother. The Journey

    Love of a dying mother

    “One day I will die and unfortunately I will not be there to see my children growing up. They will grow up surrounded by love from their relatives and well wishers. They will even go abroad and favor will shine on them. They will be happy even when I’m gone. “ Mommy said those words to one of her sisters. Of course her sister thought she was crazy and asked her not to prophesy her death. Her sister on the contrary told her,” Racheal, stop this nonsense. If you don’t want to live I will live and I will see my children growing up and even hold my grandchildren.”(she actually…

  • Family,  Losing my mother. The Journey

    Till we meet. 😇

    Once upon a time I used to be the only daughter in my family. Wait! I used to love reading stories that started with that line. Now I pretty much read anything that starts with whatever. As a tiny girl and before I was blessed with two beautiful sisters, my grandma spoiled me silly and took me everywhere she went . I was her balance. I accompanied her to the farm, picked whatever she directed me to and in most afternoons she called me to take her to her friends house. That was our routine. I was very proud that this no-nonsense woman chose me. Almost always. Towards the end…

  • Losing my mother. The Journey

    Mummy, 17 years on

    mummy I love this pic of you. There is this ache in my heart that will never go away. A hole that will never be filled. 18.04.2001 The mark was left. In your twenties you carried me in your womb for nine months. In your womb I fed through you. You religiously went for those clinics to make sure I remained healthy. You did this process 5 times. I salute you. You never had it easy in your life. That is for sure. I saw you cry and I heard you crying alone in your bedroom. I saw you on your knees praying for all of us mum and your…