Dear lovely people. I still can’t fully comprehend what has happened the past few days. I honestly tried to write that story so many times over the last few years but every time I started I would tremble, start crying and would stop at the second sentence. I have no idea where the strength and the courage came from. I would like to lay down some facts about that story. She is me. It was very much easier for me to write that story in 3rd person. Don’t say I was living in denial. If you have gone through whatever trauma you must resonate and know how hard it is…

Having to cope with pain inflicted on you by someone else physically, mentally and emotionally has had to be the most challenging thing in her life. After twenty something years of bearing this heavy burden alone, she couldn’t do it any longer. She battled on and off depression episodes. She smiled on covering her bruised underneath. She refused to have one more sleepless night. She confided in someone who purely loves her. That person held her down. Held her till her tear glands were exhausted. Gained a pinch of her trust and just then she realized there are truly God sent humans. She took a leap of faith and told…

She remembers walking weird partly limping back to school. The faul smell followed her. She trembled. Somehow she got to class. Everyone asked her where she was the whole time. She can’t remember how she excused the rapist. But she never told. She was hurting and she couldn’t tell anyone. She walked home with her brother and her friends. Her pant still wet from something she had never seen before. She has constantly wondered over the years why no one came to rescue her. She takes it that at that age if she still remembers correctly, her mother still bathed her. She can’t remember that days bath. Or the days…

She never thought she would have to live with her gruesome childhood shadowing her every move. And she never wished for that. She never knew she would painfully have to live with the trauma. She has lived with fear inside of her. Fear of the known and the unknown? This is how it began. She was a tiny little human being. One of the good ones. At least she believed that. She received love from far wide and center. Her parents adored her past the fact that she was their first and only daughter. She believed everyone around her loved her and always meant well. She was shy, always has…