I recently wrote an article by the title Unloved, which I hope triggered someone somewhere to reset their line of thought and believe they deserve love and that they are loved. Hope you already checked that out.
I‘m back here for those who have ever packed their bags or even none, but made the decision to leave home for reasons best known to them or certain circumstances made them to just leave. Found themselves in a far away town or country and by Gods grace they settled. Kind of.
We can call them diasporas or run away kings and queens. I know that doesn’t fit so well. But isn’t almost everyone these days referring to themselves as either king or queen? Queens have taken the title Kings these days if you haven’t noticed. And we are out here popping little kings and queens with IG and Facebook accounts having an overwhelming following. Whatever happened to Princes and Princesses. I’m curious. Personally, I’m not a fan off all that. I don’t find joy in titles and tags.
I digress. So, I tend to fall under diasporas category. I have been away from home for a good couple of years. What most people don’t realize is how much a person has to do, to settle in, in a new country. Bureaucracy stress topping the list and at the same time the physical, mental, and emotional adaptation of your new surroundings. It’s like taking a whole 360 degrees turn at once and upon arrival you are expected to adapt, cope and behave like the residents of citizens of your host country.
(This needs an extra blog article)
While doing everything you are expected to do, and time flying as it always does, we start struggling with feelings of been lonely. We slowly but surely start losing contact with what we knew or what we thought we embraced. We loose friends we never thought we would ever loose. We become distant. People become distant. There is a strain in family . Honestly, only a few of these old relations we had survive. Circle becomes smaller and smaller. You can fill in …and better or worse according to your experience.
Everyone is pointing fingers at each other. No one is empathetic enough to fully understand the ones who left. And even if they were to understand they would never fully grasp what it is until they be in the same position. There is this one sentiment that I hate when it’s mostly referred to anyone say a diaspora, „…they left and forgot all about us…” C‘mon people, every relationship is a two way track. And everything isn’t always black and white.
Funny thing is, most diasporas I know try so much to keep up with what’s happening back at home. Long phone calls to check up on loved ones. But how many do they receive back asking them how they are? Ask them. Who tries to keep up or at least learn a thing or two of the place their loved one is? Or are we out here dealing with misplaced expectations and misconceptions.
If you ever get the opportunity to travel please do. Go to the next village if you can. Somethings are only understood when you leave your comfort zone. See how many people will actually check on you, and how long they will keep up.
I used to expect the people I term close to me to always check on me. And if they didn’t, I would feel bad and also misconceive their intentions. But that mentality shifted not so long ago, when I had a phone call with my dad. What he said to me made me check myself and lead me to always remind myself that everyone is going through something. And whoever can check on the other should do so without counting and complaining. They should instead feel blessed and grateful to be in a position to do so.
So diasporas, and whoever else that left home in search of whatever only you know, don’t always beat yourself for what you don’t receive. Be happy and contented in the joy only those who check on you and involve you give you, and know that you bring joy to those you check on.
You didn’t leave and was forgotten. We know you now see a lot of things differently and would love to rub your new learned values onto the ones you left. But just because you think now you know better, shouldn’t be a reason you forget where you came from.