• Family,  Life Lessons

    Rebel & Deuteronomy 22:5

    (my father would never tell you who this is.lol) Don’t we love our parents to death but sometimes they are the last people we want to invade our space? Our parents raise us to look up on them as gods. Or maybe they don’t. Probably the „rule of nature“ finds its way to interpret the love and admiration we have for them as such. We also sometimes get torn between having respect for them and fearing them. Looking back into my childhood, my father was everything for me. My first male love. I shared with him everything anyone gave me. I would keep half of my food for him. He…

  • Family,  Losing my mother. The Journey

    Daddy came through. 🙌🏿

    If you have followed my journey thus far then you will know what you are about to read means a lot to me and you will rejoice with me. I voluntarily spill my stories out there and no one judges me at least to my knowledge. My heart tells me to also share my breakthroughs or developments on stories I have already shared. So here we go. Remember ? Well, this happened. When I travel back home I always make it a point to visit my granny. Mommy’s mum. And you know how most grannies are so honest and will tell you anything because they don’t give a hoot or…

  • Family,  Losing my mother. The Journey,  Struggles. Hope

    How I was introduced to my stepmom and more.

    (Back in the day ☺️) Mommy, as we always called her had suggested where my dad would find a helper. She wanted her husband to be happy even in her absence. She wanted us her kids to be surrounded by love and for some reason she was convinced we would be loved. Unfortunately I can’t place the exact unfolding of events perfectly or chronologically after my mums demise. But I remember from the place my mommy had suggested we get a helper we did get one. Her name was Grace. Yes what are the odds. My first name is Grace. Grace was a beautiful short dark skinned girl maybe in…

  • Family,  Losing my mother. The Journey

    Love of a dying mother

    “One day I will die and unfortunately I will not be there to see my children growing up. They will grow up surrounded by love from their relatives and well wishers. They will even go abroad and favor will shine on them. They will be happy even when I’m gone. “ Mommy said those words to one of her sisters. Of course her sister thought she was crazy and asked her not to prophesy her death. Her sister on the contrary told her,” Racheal, stop this nonsense. If you don’t want to live I will live and I will see my children growing up and even hold my grandchildren.”(she actually…

  • Family,  Struggles. Hope

    Uncertainty of freedom(1)

    It is shortly after Highschool that you have left home to go live in the wild city of dreams. Nairobi. You term that as freedom. I mean, not having to live everyday under the same roof with your parents and younger siblings at 18 years old, and not having “anything” to do really, no obligation to read or study for whatsoever reason, no homework or examinations to worry about. Nothing. All you feel you need to do is live, whatever that means. That period after Highschool while waiting for your results is every emotion. You have the sense of being an adult. You remember you wanted to grow so fast…

  • Family,  Love

    Dating. Contraceptives. Parents.

    I was 24 years old when my mum asked me aside, for a short talk I presumed. This was the second visit to Kenya after being in Vienna for 3 years. It was also the very first time I was introducing a man to my parents. Writing that felt easy than it actually was. I would describe my father as a strict no nonsense strong believer. That is how we all saw him. In my time, (my younger sisters say he loosened up lol) growing up in his household, this man never tolerated guys hanging around me and vice versa. So I knew better than to even mention a boy…

  • Family,  Losing my mother. The Journey

    Till we meet. 😇

    Once upon a time I used to be the only daughter in my family. Wait! I used to love reading stories that started with that line. Now I pretty much read anything that starts with whatever. As a tiny girl and before I was blessed with two beautiful sisters, my grandma spoiled me silly and took me everywhere she went . I was her balance. I accompanied her to the farm, picked whatever she directed me to and in most afternoons she called me to take her to her friends house. That was our routine. I was very proud that this no-nonsense woman chose me. Almost always. Towards the end…

  • Family

    And then she was born. Sweet 14.

    💕I will kiss her even at 100 💕 It was December 2004, that time around Christmas. At my grandparents home where most of the extended family had gathered to make merry. And I vividly remember hanging out with some cousins and then one of them, Njeri whispered to me after seeing my stepmom tending to guests. She innocently uttered , “aki Ciru mama yako aneshiba leo.” (Ciru your mum is so full today). If I answered her, it had to be something like,”eeeh amekula sana leo.” (Yes she has eaten a lot today) Njeri is younger than me. So I think she wasn’t trying to be silly, she just had…

  • Family,  Struggles. Hope

    Did dad fail me…?

    It’s important that you know that I’m writing this from my own perspective. My personal feelings, experience(s) and own reflection. As some of you already know, my mum died when I was 9. And after she died it felt like she died and that was it. We never spoke about her. Nobody ever initiated a talk that involved her in our household. I tried on few occasions but I usually got vague responses and so we never had a meaningful successful talk about her. Now older and finding healing I try to poke and suck out information about mum from anyone I knew was close to her every opportunity I…

  • Family,  Short stories

    Good tidings.

    Awesome reader, It dawned on me that I forget to tell you the slightest thank you for always stopping by this space, reading, commenting and sharing with your people. Now that is bad manners considering my last blog entry. this I am not the only reason I write but you are. I can choose to keep my stories to myself but I wouldn’t be doing anyone a favor. You encourage me to put out more of my stories out there. Your feedback and how we literally embark and dismantle a topic I write about gives me so much joy. Thank you also for sliding in my dm or WhatsApp for…