Lovestruck in hopeless hopeful places.

We have all probably seen a movie where people meet in a hospital, fall in love, become a couple and the rest is history. The most fascinating of these stories is when 2 people, both likely suffering from terminal illnesses meet at the hospital wards or hallways and connect so deeply that all there is to see is love and not what they are suffering from.

I love beautiful love stories. (Wait, I say that as if there are ugly love stories. I guess for me ugly and love shouldn’t be in one sentence) Well, let me not get into those who are trapped or stuck in toxic relationships in the name of love. I’ll engage you in the kind of beautiful love stories that leave you in awe. If you are keen to understand the genesis of most love stories, not only the romantic ones, you would realize that not all were born in rosy places.

I’m writing this sitting in the waiting area of my doctor’s office. Across sits, this tall man whom you can clearly see has dyed his hair and beard black. A very dark shade of black. If that makes sense. But he left out his sideburns. They are covered with grey hair. Probably his signature. That and the betraying few wrinkles on his forehead and cheeks give the impression that he has been around for a long while.

He looks as if he has had it with life but is still trying to keep up with it using his charm. It is undeniable that he likes to talk. He was a bit chatty and flirty earlier on. He had called to me out-loud and complimented me. How could he think I was beautiful with half my face covered with a mask? We were more than a meter apart and he was wearing his mask on the neck like a necklace like some people are doing. Are there airways on the neck that people are trying to protect that I don’t know of? At this point we will see some people wearing masks on their foreheads like we do sunglasses. Besides the point! I said thank you and shook my head in disbelief. Smiling and shy at the same time because now everyone was watching me. Do you smile at the doctor’s waiting room when you don’t know why everyone is waiting to see the doctor? Anyway, smiling sometimes relieves tension. So it’s okay.

He comes closer, like a gentleman does and asks me out for coffee. This could be an opportunity to find love. Right? But even if I was so open-minded and ready to welcome more love, would I want to subject myself to loving a sick man? Everyone goes to the doctor because they most likely have a medical problem. And it is highly likely for an older person waiting to see a doctor to have layers upon layers of medical issues. Is this when I become selfish and choose my battle “wisely”? Or should I take the risk and let the universe naturally dictate my/our destiny?

I have found love in so many hopeless places and frustrating situations. And to be honest these have been the most life-changing experiences for me. I met one of my best friends in a certain embassy. A place so full of hope but seems so hopeless. A place millions of dreams have been crushed and painful tears have been shed. I have found love at the airport, in the midst of a hopeless sickening situation and nearly facing deportation. Airport, a place you mention and some shake because of the worst they have experienced there. I have found love in a matatu(mini-bus), a public means of transport that many have lost their valuables. Many have been deceived, stolen from, and even been beaten. I have found love in the first weeks of high school while being bullied. I have found love on someone’s death bed, all the way till their last breath. And so on.

On the flip-side, I think connections formed in so many hopeless places could turn out to be the most hopeful of all. Where someone would choose you knowing you haven’t the cleanest bill of health. Where they still choose you when you aren’t at your best. When they know they could lose you at any given moment. And vice versa.
Often than not these connections do turn out to be the most emotional, honest, true, authentic, and meaningful relationships. It could be because at this point you love with every ounce you got and treasure every breath you take as if it were the last one. It could be that even when you could choose to be unkind, mean, and cruel you consciously choose to be kind and loving. It is sad that at times even when we are capable of loving we choose the contrary.

Love is everywhere and if we opened our eyes and softened our hearts we wouldn’t fail to see it. Everywhere can be a hopeless and hopeful place. Allow yourself to love, be kinder, and don’t build barricades blocking others from loving you. Once in awhile Just reflect on your relationships, those that have been, those you would love to be, and those that shall come.

I know you would still want to ask me if I would fall in love at the doctors waiting area. Who knows if I would? But not today. If I were to choose, I would want to fall in love on a mountain top. But sometimes we don’t get to choose, it just happens. Some times you just meet the one on a tour bus. And that is life. Which doesn’t mean I can’t be kinder while rejecting a coffee date. Also, love comes in different ways. And I welcome it. The good kind of love. I hope you are wise enough to tell that this article wasn’t only romance-driven.

Could you reflect and recount on where you have found love? Have you found the greatest of love in hopeless hopeful places? Would you want to share? If so please do below. I’m also curious if there are people who have found love in these uncertain tricky COVID times. If there are, they must be the luckiest to find the most sanitized love.