High

I feel so good. Maybe even high. On a high so great I want to float there for a long while. I celebrated my dear friend on his birthday and being in that space felt quite refreshing. This space oozes selflessness and love. A group of people from different walks of life coming together on a Tuesday night to celebrate life, ah if this isn’t love. I haven’t been to a party in a while and for me to leave a 12 hr shift and step into a bar till midnight and have to work the next day is a big deal.

My watered-down Vodka O might have played a role in this high but no, I give credit to me seeing my friend happy, reuniting with my day ones, and being in their company while each of us talks about how we are adulting. Different but similar experiences. All of us are in a constant state of becoming. This was a great way to end this day.

Mother, I am not sad.

Left, right, and center I feel loved.

I feel comforted.

I am becoming more comfortable with being vulnerable.

Because when I leave this world, I want to be remembered for how I made others feel.

Just like you did.

It’s now past midnight, and I’m all showered, feeling fresh and still high, I lay on my bed, and as am about to shut my eyes I feel gratitude. At the back of my mind, I hope not to oversleep because I can’t miss work tomorrow. It is a duty I wholeheartedly took upon and my patients deserve some of my joy tomorrow. So help me universe.

Off I doze. Cuddling one of my many useless pillows, wishing they were human flesh, a bicep perhaps.