Cash in, Cash out.

I have made many mistakes in my short life, but the money mistakes have hurt the most. The shame that comes with losing money puts us in an isolated box that we dare not open. I have seen people lose material possessions in the blink of an eye due to natural calamities or theft. Others have lost so much due to blind hope, lack of knowledge, greed, and even stupidity. We should talk more about this.

I’ve lost money due to sheer stupidity. Not once, not twice.  I’d like to say I didn’t know any better, but I did. I ignored my instincts. My brain works in mysterious ways sometimes. I often act quicker than I think. Every day, I’m learning to take a moment before replying to a text or committing to something or someone. I’m also learning to think twice and be cautious before sending money to anyone. Believe me, taking a deep breath helps in making better decisions. A simple “let me think about it” response to anyone asking anything of you goes a long way. And research honey, will save you a lot of trouble.

Welcome to my money mistakes. I lost thousands of euros in my twenties that I wish I could recover, but we both know that’s not happening. Black tax is a self-inflicted loss to some degree. I’m not here to expound on this. Many of us are bitter about this and refuse to take accountability. If you think deeply and reflect regularly, you will be a better and more cheerful giver to those who mean something to you. This means you won’t find yourself counting “lost money” to those you keep “helping” or those to whom you rush to give your hard-earned or easily-earned coins. Call me naive, but I don’t see black tax as foolishly losing money. It’s deeper than that. This post is basically about how carelessly I have handled my money in the past.

One of the ways I lost a huge chunk of money was by buying land in a hurry. I trusted a broker who was like family and lived with us for a while. He worked in one of these real estate companies. Those companies in for example Ruiru with big banners and placards by the entrance, probably paid by one client, that entice unknowledgeable people. People trying to invest for the future of their children. The irony is some will never own what they have been promised and paid for. And sadly the justice system is fucked up so bad such that in the end no one is held accountable. By the way, I don’t understand how we all of a sudden have thousands of real estate companies in Kenya which wasn’t the case a few years back. I don’t know how all this land became available for sale and even crazier how every other day millions of acres are available for sale and been advertised by your favorite influencers. Fine I may be a little bitter to get this but still help my brain to understand.

So during one of my visits to my home country, just a few days before returning to the country in which I reside, The above-mentioned broker was eager to get me on board. We went to Juja Farm to view a plot of land. I knew nothing about buying land, but I was persuaded that it was a good investment. On the day I was leaving, I made the transaction, paying the full amount with the promise of receiving the title deed in 3 months. The agreement was signed by one of my brothers. I remember feeling a lot of pressure before finalizing the transaction, as it was all the funds I had at that time, and I was just a student. It was a significant decision, but I believe that money comes and goes, and we use it to make more money, right?

It has been 8 years and still, I don’t have the title to that piece of land. It turns out that the owner of that company is a modern-day scammer. He is a renowned, potbellied, light-skinned man of God – a whole-suited pastor reverend. Why is it always these men of God doing the devil’s work? Downright embarrassing. I hope you are smart enough to pick out the mistakes I made here, for example.

• I trusted a broker who was just trying to earn a commission. It’s funny because I thought I was helping the guy out. He had just graduated from college and I didn’t want to give him a handout. So, I decided to support him by investing in his work. It’s like I had a “helper syndrome.” In the end, he didn’t gain anything from it and he even left the company shortly after.
• I made a hasty decision without carefully thinking it through. The legal process of purchasing land is a crucial step when acquiring property. I didn’t do my due diligence here, I didn’t involve a lawyer, and I was naive.”
• I sent a large sum of money all at once. What hurt the most was realizing months later that I had overpaid. I sent much more money than I needed to because I didn’t convert euros into Kenyan shillings.

After going through a difficult experience with purchasing land, you would think I would have pinched myself but I decided to buy another piece of land through a trusted source, only to lose it as well. The mistake was theirs, they have never taken responsibility for that but since I decided to send the funds I had to take accountability for it so I could move on. This happened again with another piece of land. As a result, I felt discouraged about investing in land due to the mistakes I had made. Whenever the topic of buying land came up, I would tune out, unable to move past my feelings of foolishness. This experience changed me and made me a hesitant investor. 

Another stupid way I lost money was on Instagram. A friend asked me to urgently send her money on PayPal that she would repay in the coming days. Without thinking or even calling her I sent it and there ladies and gents I was conned. Her account had been hacked. Lol, 1500€ went just like that. Nikama shetani. I swear I think some of these things are spiritual. I couldn’t believe it. I’m laughing now but at the time, it was really heartbreaking. 

It has been a few years now, and I have learned from my mistakes and have almost completely healed from these experiences. I have moved on and am grateful that I don’t have an unhealthy attachment to money. I have also observed others who have experienced greater losses than mine, which has given me some perspective. 

I have experienced money losses of varying degrees, and the days that followed were difficult. I have learned from these experiences and can confidently say that I manage my money better now. I think twice before making money decisions and take responsibility for my mistakes. I understand that many of you have suffered significant losses, and it can be extremely tough. Some of you may be going through it right now, and there may not be anything I can say to make you feel better at this moment. All I can suggest is to view it as a lesson, albeit a difficult one. Allow yourself to feel your emotions for as long as you need, but then pick yourself up and move forward. Time will help heal the pain, although the memory of the experience may linger as a reminder to be cautious and thoughtful in future decisions.

Take comfort in reading about others who have been deceived. Hopefully, you will feel less foolish and be able to laugh it off in a few weeks. You can share your story, acknowledge your mistakes, and help others avoid making similar errors or alleviate the burden for those who have made the same or worse mistakes. I understand that when you’re in pain, ending your life may seem like the better option, but remember that your life is invaluable. You only have one life, so learn from your mistakes and grow from them. And yes, make more money while doing so. What’s life without mistakes? It would be dull and sad, with no fun at all. Take control of your money and life and perhaps, through our combined prayers, those scammers will face the consequences of their actions. Their day will come.

Have you ever been conned before? Please feel free to share. This is a safe space. Feel no shame.