Mummy, 17 years on

mummy I love this pic of you.

There is this ache in my heart that will never go away. A hole that will never be filled. 18.04.2001 The mark was left.

In your twenties you carried me in your womb for nine months. In your womb I fed through you. You religiously went for those clinics to make sure I remained healthy. You did this process 5 times. I salute you.

You never had it easy in your life. That is for sure. I saw you cry and I heard you crying alone in your bedroom. I saw you on your knees praying for all of us mum and your God always gave you peace. He always made a way for you and your family.

You worked and still loved your husband unconditionally. You never abandoned your elder son either. You went ahead to give me and my brother three more brothers.

See your first born takes mirror selfies at work. Is that a thing in heaven?

You most definitely was the envy of many. You were a strong woman. A hard worker. You never complained. You always gave thanks. You were a believer. You disciplined your children and talked to us in a manner we could understand. You always smiled. You were a giver.

You visited many and on your back carried loads of gifts to your family and friends. I and my siblings accompanied you to visit the people you loved. You taught us respect and responsibility. You prayed so hard. You testified to many about all the goodness in your life, even when things were clearly hard at times.

We all called you mummy. I never got to see your imperfections. I spent only 9 years of my life with you. It was enough time to know how perfect you were. How hard you tried to keep us happy. You taught me how important family is.

You saw good in everyone mummy . You literally prayed for everyone. Some people were very mean to you. Some openly insulted you and your children. Some people even family members called and branded you mean names and you still saw good in them and asked us to love them.

I knew you for a short time to call you a phenomenal woman. A woman with a heart of gold. A rare one.

Mummy anytime I think of you I wish I was granted more time to be with you. I wish you could sit me/us down and talk to me/us the way you used to. I wish we could still cook and wash the dishes together.

I wish we could talk one on one about my life. I wish you could see the woman I have become and somehow be proud of me. I wish we could talk about love and heartbreaks. I wish you could guide me in a lot of aspects in my life. I wish we could argue and in the end hug tightly and say how much we love each other.

I mean mummy I would give anything for you to come back and scold me for making silly mistakes. I hate that cancer robbed you from us. Mummy I hope wherever you are you don’t worry too much about us. We are all fine. We all miss you a lot and will love you forever.

Your husband and three sons. All grown and goofy. You would be proud of dad. He did it and is still doing it.

You live in me and I will always treasure the memories we had. Thank you for smiling down at me. Go on sing and dance with the angels. I know they can’t get enough of you.

I have loved you since I can’t remember when and I’m gonna love you till I can’t forget how. Continue resting in peace mummy.

Your daughter Ciru